I Just Want To Be Gay
by Twilight Is My Second Language
Summary: Don't be offended by the tittle. Please. This is actually meant to be funny and completely random. I don't even know where it came from. AU. OOC.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, secret life of the American teenager, Jonas brothers. But I do own Ilana Rachel and The land of awesomeness. How awesome is that?**

Once upon a time there was a fan girl named Bella Cullen. Her name wasn't actually Bella or Cullen. But she was such a big fan of Twilight she changed her name to Bella Cullen. Her real name was Ilana Rachel. But since she changed her name, for the sake of the story and saving me five seconds to write "aka Bella", we are gonna just call her Bella.

So one day Bella was walking in the woods called only-dumb-asses-come-here-so-that's-why-you-belong. But everyone in town just called them the bowling park. Even though it had nothing to do with bowling, or a park. While Bella was walking in the woods she saw this black circle in front of her. When she went closer it sucked her in and two seconds later she was back where she was sucked in from. _That was pointless._ Bella thought.

When Bella returned home she put her stuff away and went to go say "hi" to her mom who she called Renee. But her actual name was *Very loud train goes by and drains out voice*. After saying hi to her mom she went to go say hi to her dad who she called Charlie behind his back, and dad in front of him. But, once again, his real name wasn't Charlie it was *another very loud train goes by, draining out the voice again.*

Later that day Bella traveled to the land of awesomness. She was the queen of awesomeness. No one knew though. It was her secret life. When she was returning she forgot to take off her crown, and when she walked through the door, her parents asked "Dude. What up with the crown?" Bella froze mid-stride. She turned to look at her parents and said "It's the secret life of the American teenager." And then she ran up to her room and put on her favorite song by the Jonas Sisters. (no I don't mean Jonas Brothers.) I just want to be gay. (Original song was I just want to play my music) **(AN sorry to anyone who likes the Jonas Brothers. I like them to but it was just to tempting looking at the original lyrics of this song. Oh and read the song. It's not the original. I changed most of the lyrics.)**

Music  
Turn on that radio  
As loud as it can go  
Wanna dance until I can't feel that boner (feel the ground)  
Say goodbye to all my fears  
of people making fun o' me  
And nothing in the world can bring me down (bring me down)

Hand grabbing  
Hip locking  
Heartbreaking  
There's no faking  
What you feel when your riding home  
Yeah, yeah

I can't help I'm gay  
I can hear it everyday, every night  
It's the one thing on my mind  
I don't wanna be straight  
And I'm never letting go, no no  
I just want to come out of the closet

Whoa (music)

Got my condoms in the back  
Don't need anything but that  
Everything I want is here with me (here with me)  
So forget that fancy car  
I don't need to go that far  
What's driving me is following my dreams, yeah

Hand grabbing  
Legs shaking  
Heartbreaking  
There's no faking  
What you feel when your on a roll  
Yeah, yeah

I can't help I'm gay  
I can hear it everyday, every night  
It's the one thing on my mind  
I can't help I'm gay  
And I'm never letting go, no no  
I just wanna be gay  
I just wanna be gay

Can't imagine what it'd be like  
Without the feeling I get around those hot sexy guys  
So I can keep dreamin

I can't help I'm gay  
I can hear it everyday, everynight  
It's the one thing on my mind

I can't help I'm gay  
And I'm never letting go, no no  
I just wanna be gay

I can't help I'm gay  
I can hear it everyday, everynight  
It's the one thing on my mind  
I can't help I'm gay  
And I'm never letting go, no no  
I just wanna be gay  
All night long

Yeah

By the time Bella was done listening to the song she had fallen asleep.

The End

**Hey guys! This probably isn't that good. It's my first funny fan fiction. I but I do hope you liked it. Once again sorry to anyone who likes the Jonas Brothers. Oh and the funniest thing ever, for me, was once I was done writing the story I went back and listened to 'I just want to play my music' and instead of singing with the original lyrics, I used the lyrics I came up with. It was SO hilarious. **

**~Special Snowflake (that's just how I sign all the stories I've written. It's kind of an inside joke. So sorry people who don't get it.) **


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